'Trying out' relationships

Something that's been sitting in my drafts for 2 years. Will post an update on what I think now soon!

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"If you never try, you'll never know."
"Give it a try, who knows, he could be the one."
"What's the worst that could happen? If it doesn't work out, just break up. You'll learn something from it. It's just an experience in life everyone goes through."


These are all bit of advice given to me over the years, from well meaning friends who don't understand my lack of need for a relationship. Admittedly, I have wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship. To love and be loved. To adore and be adored. To cherish, and be cherished.


And yet, something stops me. Perhaps, its a feeling. Or a tiny little voice in my heart. The impression that perhaps, the time is not now. I'm not ready. I'm too young (incidentally, an excuse I've been using for years).


I'm not that young anymore. Certainly old enough to be in a relationship by anyone's standards. I have friends who got engaged at my age. I know people who were married at my age. And here I am, never having been in a relationship.


What, exactly, is love? What is there to a relationship? How do I know if he is the one for you? How do I know that there isn't someone out there who is better suited for me? How do I know that this is not just a crush or infatuation that will fade soon enough? And also, am I 'the one' for him?


Isn't love supposed to be unconditional? A no-matter-what? But somehow, all my life, I've felt that love is like approval. Something to be won. To be earned. That I need to do all the right things, say the appropriate thing, achieve. And only then, be rewarded with 'love', acceptance, and approval.


Is that how it is supposed to be? Is love something tangible? Something that can be measured, something to live up to? Is it a standard? Does it satisfy? Does it deliver? Is it enough? Is that all there is to it?


1 Corinthians 13. The love chapter. One of the most famous passages in the Bible, quoted by Christians and non-Christians alike. Love is patient, love is kind. Does not envy. Does not boast. Is not easily angered. Is not self-seeking. Does not dishonor others. Does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Always protects. Always trusts. Always hopes. Always perseveres. And in the beginning of the chapter - if we do not have love, we have nothing.


That's work. Love is a verb. Not merely a feeling. It's not easy. The description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is unconditional. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


I feel, that God never intended for us to 'try' in relationships till we find the right one to marry. I believe, that there is only that one guy out there meant to be my life partner. When the time is right, God will bring us together. Perhaps, I have already met him. Perhaps not. Perhaps, he is the one I've been thinking of, dreaming of, and praying for. Perhaps not. Perhaps, he would just be a dream that I would always want to chase.


I've been reading blog posts and stories about some amazing relationship stories. I marvel at how God has written their love stories. How perfectly He has brought it all together. And that, is what I want. That perfect love story in my life. To be able to one day tell my children, if it is His will, that I waited, I trusted, and God provided.


He has perfect timing. He will have a plan for the relationships in my life. I want Him to bless my relationships. To guide them. In His time, He will make two paths become one. And if He doesn't, He will work out a different plan for my life from what I have in mind.